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This page contains first safety information for those considering leaving and important information on how to safely view these pages.

Has your partner ever?
  • Slapped, kicked, punched, or otherwise hurt you physically?
  • Threatened to beat or kill you?
  • Held you hostage against your will?
  • Forced you to have sex throguh fear or intimidation?
If you answered "yes" to any of the above questions, then you are a victim of domestic violence.

Does your partner ever?
  • Try to control how you live and behave?
  • Make you give up activities that are important to you?
  • Keep you from seeing or talking to your friends and family?
  • Devalue your opinions, feelings, and accomplishments?
  • Yell, threaten, or withdraw into angry silence when you displease him or her?
  • Cause you to "walk on eggshells" or rehearse what you will say so as not to displease him or her?
  • Confuse you by switching from charm to rage without warning?
  • Make you feel off-balance or inadequate?
  • Act extremely jealous and possessive, constantly accusing you of having affairs?
  • Blame you for everything that goes wrong with the relationship?
  • Frequently criticize you, call you derogatory names, or make you feel "badly" about yourself?
If you answered "yes" to some of these questions, then you are in an emotionally abusive relationship which may eventually turn violent.

The first step in breaking a violent pattern in a relationship is to tell someone: your physician, minister, friend, a counselor, or call HARRIET'S HOUSE at (334) 289-8988. Or call the statewide hotline at 1-800-650-6522. At first you may find it hard to talk about the abuse, but many victims of abuse feel a great sense of releif once they have confided in someone. Feelings of shame are common at this point, but remember that no one deserves to be abused. violent behavior is the responsibility of the one who is violent...YOU DO NOT CAUSE THE VIOLENCE.

HAVE A SAFETY PLAN WHEN YOU LEAVE. SEPERATION VIOLENCE PLACES VICTIMS AT A 75% GREATER RISK OF INJURY.

Plan ahead. If you are considering escaping a violent relationship, here are some steps you might want to follow:

1. Determine a safe place you can go. You can arrange to stay with family friends or neighbors. If their homes are not safe because the batterer knows where they live, then call HARRIET'S HOUSE.

2. If possible, pack a bag containing extra clothing for you and your children, any medications you need, an extra set of house and car keys, important papers such as birth certificates, proof of income, social security cards, driver's and marriage licenses, medical and insurance records, extra cash, check book or savings account book, title to your car and rent receipts. Store these things in a safe place, with someone you trust, in order to be sure they are accessible when you decide to leave, and also so that the abuser does not find them.

3. If you are attacked, call the police as soon as possible. While the police are there, make arrangements to go somewhere safe.

4. Many injuries require medical treatment. Even if you think that your injuries are minor, you may be hurt more than you realize. Have your private physician or an emergency room physician treat and document your injuries.

5. If you are not ready to leave, there is counseling available for you and your children. Call HARRIET'S HOUSE for information on support groups, safety planning, crime victims compensation, protection orders, and other services.

The "H" graphic on the right is the escape bar. It will promptly escape any page on our site, including the home page.
If you are living in a manipulative, verbally abusive, or violent relationship, we recommend that you DO NOT view these pages from your home. View these pages from outside your home. if at home, choose a safe time to view these pages or lock the doors. PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING SAFETY INFORMATION about viewing these pages safely.

1. To the Right of every page on our site is the same large yellow "H" from the home page. This also contains the words "click here to leave this page".

2. FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF WITH THE LOCATION OF THE "H" graphic - the escape bar.

3. WHEN YOU CLICK ON THIS GRAPHIC YOUR BROWSER WILL IMMEDIATELY TAKE YOU OFF THE HARRIET'S HOUSE PAGE AND TO YOUR DEFAULT HOME PAGE.
If you bookmark this or any other site about domestic violence, your abuser can find out that you have been getting information on domestic violence. If you can, clear all cache/history files from your web browser. You may want to access this site from somewhere other than home. See instructions below for eliminating traces to browsing the internet for domestic violence web pages.
Please remember to follow the instructions below to erase all evidence of your visit to these pages as soon as it's safe to do so.

Instructions for Internet Explorer

To delete temporary internet files, cookies and pages listed in your History:
  1. On the menu at the top of the browser window, click on Tools>Internet Options...
  2. In the dialog window that opens, click on the "General" tab.
  3. In the section labeled "Temporary Internet Files", if you wish to delete all the files and cookies, click on the "Delete Files..." button. A confirmation dialog will open asking if you want to delete all files in your temporary internet folder. Click "OK".
  4. If you wish to selectively delete files and cookies, click on the "Settings..." button. A dialog window will open. Click on the "View Files..." button. A window will open with a list of all your temporary internet files and cookies. You can highlight the files you wish to delete and hit the delete key or click Edit>Delete.
  5. To empty the History folder, click on the "Clear History" button and then the "OK" button.

Instructions for Netscape

To delete pages listed in your History:
  1. Click on Communicator>Tools>History on the menu bar at the top of your browser window.
  2. When the History window opens, highlight the addresses you want to delete and hit the delete key on your keyboard or click on Edit>Delete on the menu bar.
  3. If you wish to clear the History file, click on Edit>Select All then Edit>Delete.

To empty your cache:
  1. Click on Edit>Preferences on the menu bar at the top of your browser window.
  2. When the Preferences window opens, click on the "+" sign in front of "Advanced" in the frame on the left then click on "Cache" to open the cache dialog.
  3. In the Cache dialog window, click on the "Clear Memory Cache and the "Clear Disk Cache buttons and click on the "OK" button to close the window.
Each time you access websites, "cookies" can be created. Cookies are cryptic bookmarks that a Web site can place on your computer to acknowledge your prior visit, authenticate your access or let you continue on through a site from where you last left off. They can leave a trail of evidence of where you have been on the web. If you visit a website on domestic violence and a cookie is created as a result of that visit, your abuser can trace your trail and discover where you've been.

Cookies
There's no simple mechanism for deleting Cookies in Netscape.

At the same time though, it's not very easy to locate the cookies that are placed on your computer when using Netscape. If you want to delete the cookies in Netscape, you have to open "Windows Explorer" and browse to the "Netscape" folder which is usually in your "Program" folder on your "C" drive. In the "Netscape" folder is a folder called "Users". Open "Users" and then the "default" folder contained within. In the "default" folder there's a file called "cookies.txt". You can delete that file without harming your computer but all your cookies will be removed and some websites that you visit frequently may not recognize you when you return. If you double click the file name, it will open in Notepad and you can edit out the cookies related to domestic violence websites you've visited despite the fact that it says you can't edit the file.

Here is a sample of what the file looks like and if editing, a sample section that you would delete is highlighted.


.altavista.com TRUE / FALSE 1474351208 AV_USERKEY
AVSdf91fd7cba00364754310ac0003dfe
.lycos.com TRUE / FALSE 2128565745 p_uniqid
418/NMTYVx52uamutB
.acadv.org TRUE / FALSE 123456789 id
5no23nhrn3709u0u43
www.britannica.com FALSE / FALSE 1237487646 ssuid
2wA2865543djg2754be8UNYxF9H0